13 December 2011

I've come to realize something. I don't give a shit about sports. In the least. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a Cubs fan until the day I die. But even that's been a bit iffy in lieu of their last season (I watched MAYBE ten games?).

Its something that I've come to notice over the last couple weeks of work. Five days a week, I'm punching the clock at 5:55am. Some times its 5:56am. Regardless, I'm there before any of my other coworkers are there, getting shit done before the sun comes up.

Once I actually start to have human contact for the day, I'm already pissed. Couple that with my general loathing for the human race, and I'm already in "rare form". Which, truth be told, isn't rare form at all. I'm pretty sure I am a textbook misthanthrope.

Why, you my ask, am I so pissed at such an early hour? It's a few things. One, I'm generally sleep-deprived, or I've got too much sleep. I can't seem to find a balance with that. Two, It's because I've got physical repercussions from workload. Sore joints, swollen hands, sore back. Three, it's because I'm at work at 6am and not in bed with Robin. A trifecta of sorts.

Putting all of that on my shoulders on a daily basis is exhausting. Call me a martyr, but it's simply what I do. With all of of that said and done (mostly done before I even get out of bed), getting into work and hearing about sports and athletes is the last fucking thing I want to hear.

It's sort of a test I've done over the last few days at work. People I work with will spend literal HOURS discussing what player signed a contract to what team. They'll discuss how upset certain coworkers are going to be given the news. They'll wax financial on such a dipshit level of comprehension that it seems like a homeless person discussing mortgage rates.

It's not only exhausting to have to hear about it, its frustrating how much stake people put into these establishments. In the process of said dipshittery, however, I've come to realize something.


I like, hell, LOVE, the Cubs. Why? Because it reminds me of my boys, of our roadtrips to Chicago, of The Falcon (the reason i actually HAVE one of my boys). However, after watching a handful of games over their entire last season, I've realized that I hold hardly any stake in the institution of sports. Why should I give a shit if a certain player isn't doing so hot? Isn't my expectation of said player only setting myself up for a letdown? Why should I care if a certain player gets traded to a different team?

The fact of the matter is is that sports don't mean anything to me anymore. Have I watched a single Colts game all season? No. Is it because Peyton Manning has been sidelined the entire time? Probably. But at the core of it, is the fact that I have more important things to worry about.

These people (said athletes and said coworkers) mean nothing to me. The people I give a shit about are either living in my apartment (Robin, fuck the rats), are a five or ten minute drive down the street (Lairen, Rod, Shamoo) or generally spread out across the country.

They're people I share tattoos with. They're people I share the proverbial highs and lows with. They're people that, when asked "Man, I need a jumpstart and don't have any cables...?" respond with "I'll buy you cables and meet you." They're people that I might not talk to for weeks, but when I do, it's like time hasn't even passed.

And that, my friends, is worth more than any trophy could ever earn.


Ps. This is dedicated to the people that have inspired me the most as of late: Robin, for your undying courage, affection & belief in me. Lairen, because your blog is one of the greatest things on the internet (other than the uglyblog) and because its an almost daily reminder of the fact that our friendship is so strong because we inspire each other. The Camaraderie: Do you wanna go to Scotty's? No? How about The Dugout? Sean Carswell: Seriously, dude, I owe you a high-five and a six-pack.

Pps. I'm pretty sure I completely bastardized the correct grammatical use of the words "its" and "it's".


  1. Fuck yeah... I'll raise a glass to that.

  2. five bux to whoever directs this towards the coworkers he's talking about.

  3. The Falcon rules, and I care about all things sporting to make up for your lack of caring.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...