02 February 2012

An Energy Thing

I recently watched a movie with Robin about a twenty-something diagnosed with an extremely rare form of cancer. I fell asleep near the end of the movie, but from what I saw it was an extremely realistic portrayal of someone with a terminal disease.

It was sad and heartwarming at the same time. It was relatively regular fare as far as those type of movies go. While watching it, however, a line in the movie really struck a chord with me.

The protagonist of the movie was being dropped off by his girlfriend at the hospital where he was going to be receiving chemotherapy. Upon exiting the car, he turned back around and asked if she was going to join him for the four hour session. She declined and said she would just wait in her car for four hours instead. Taken aback by this, her words of comfort to him were something to the effect of "I don't want to mix these two worlds. The happy calm of us in this car and that kind of treatment behind those walls. It's an energy thing."

Not only was it an incredibly selfish thing to do, but it kind of foreshadowed how shitty of a companion she would wind up being. It was also an incorrect view of the world.

The beauty of life is the balance between the ups and downs. Preventing yourself from an experience so as not to mix "the two worlds" is a silly thing to do. Granted, there are boundaries in all aspects of life. For instance, you wouldn't necessarily want to read your favorite book or watch your favorite movie while being the same room with someone on their death bed. You would always associate the two from that point on. However, life can some times be a big whirlwind of events and circumstance.

Take for example a while back when I had to take Robin to the emergency room at 4:30 in the morning. As far as "our worlds" go, that kind of pre-dawn time before work is one of the elements we have always thrived in. Sleep-deprived and sucking down coffee in those hours is a semblance of comfort for us. However, when she was sick as hell that particular morning, the two worlds sort of collided together. Our routine was broken as we rushed to the emergency room. For that morning, the two worlds co-existed.

That, readers, is exactly what life is. It is a constant collision of the ups and downs in life. Opposite worlds living and breathing and pulsing at the same time. Balance. To think otherwise is self-defeating and naive.

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