The pace I've been running at the last couple of weeks has finally taken its toll on me. I'm not trying to make myself as a martyr, but when you deprive yourself of sleep the way I do and spend what feels like days on end in constant motion, it wears you down. Rather than go out and be sociable with close friends tonight, I'm gonna stay inside and take cold medicine and try and catch up on a bit of sleep. I definitely need it.
Tuesday night I was expecting nothing more than passing time by reading or catching up on some Netflix. Robin was scheduled to close which means I wouldn't have seen her until after 10 o'clock anyway. However, given her current work situation and the copious amounts of stress she's been dealing with there lately, she was able to leave early. It wasn't for good reasons she was able to clock out early, but it allowed us the night to spend together. We met up with Michull, Maggie and Rose at the Laurelhurst for pizza, a couple beers and the new Muppets movie. Which was fucking fantastic, by the way.
Afterwards, the two of us wound up at our local watering hole for beers. We knocked back a few, bullied the jukebox and were content to just sit and talk, both of us looking forward to being able to spend all of Wednesday together. We eventually made our way back to our apartment and kept the beer and music coming. During our conversations, something unprecedented came up. Even after dusting out the cobwebs from that drunken night, the idea of it is still fresh in our minds and still seems complete plausible. That idea is Robin and I eventually getting married. Hell, maybe even some time this year.
Now, readers, before you jump to any conclusions, let me explain a couple of things. First off, I have never been comfortable with the thought of marriage. Not for lack of a good example, mind you (my parent's relationship is something I value very highly), but rather for personal reasons. It is a huge commitment, and getting "tied down" is something that's always scared the shit out of me. A few nights prior, I had actually had a dream about the two of us getting married. I saw the ring on my finger and Robin in a wedding dress and in the dream I was completely okay with it. I don't ever read into dreams. There's no reason to waste time with silly things like that. The thing is, most of the time I'm fully aware I'm dreaming. I have the same thoughts, motives and actions in my dreams as I would in the real world. There's really no turning off being me. So, the fact I was so willingly accepting of marriage kind of says something.
Robin's eyes lit up when I brought this up to her. She wants nothing more than to spend the rest of her life with me, and I her. Even if we never got married. She's a lot more accepting of the idea of marrige than I have ever been. But over the last few weeks, I've felt myself opening up more and more to the idea. We know that we're going to spend all of our budget on the reception. We'll get married at a courthouse and have a blowout party for the reception, where we'll recite our own vows. We've got the wedding party already decided as well as the soundtrack for key parts of the ceremony.
Even thinking about it now is kind of giving me a thrill. She truly is the only one I want to spend the rest of my life. How everything aligned so perfectly for us to cross paths again is still mind-blowing. She's my best friend, my companion. She's my partner in crime, whether the crimes are hating humanity or destroying our livers and/or lungs. We've found something that we can only wish for those closest to us to evenutally gain for themselves.